meditative pain transfer

as previously posted in this blog, i was in need of a tattitude adjustment.....and boy did i ever get it!

i went to see billy (my tattoo guru), and told him about my situation. i told him i was there to do a pain transfer...i was there to realease my internal pain caused by the loss of what i thought was my one true love.....but what i found out while being inked was far different an answer than i thought i was looking for.

i was warned by billy, 'if it was anybody else, i would charge an extra hundred bucks because this is a tender area, and you have to take a lot of breaks....i have had people cry.' perfect.....that was why i was there....for the physical pain to absorb the spiritual.

before he started, i closed my eyes and thought about my pain in the loss of my love. i visualized the anguish as a cloud inside me gathering up all the little bits of pain, from wherever they resided in my soul. i felt the cloud growing in mass...darkening like an ominous front tumbling and rolling over my plane. it came from my fingertips and toes, through my body, and out with every exhale...the storm was being released through my pain. i opened my eyes...it was 20 minutes later, and billy was done with the first one. what??? i had felt no pain!! it is NOT supposed to work like that...i needed to pay closer attention. (AND...typically i bleed duing the tat....but not a drop of blood was wiped. strange, i know.)

we changed seating arrangements, got settled into our places, and i closed my eyes being sure to pay attention to the pain. i relaxed my fingers in anticipation of pain. the very fingers that the storm had just rolled...i saw my heart open as the sun and breeze gently disbursed the remaining bits of clouds...i felt life become clearer to me as the light strengthend my vision. i felt my purpose to love in the fiber of my skin and in the clearing of my spirit. and once again, i opened my eyes and he was done. no pain...no blood.

when i walked out of there i was complete. i had found the peace that was missing for so long. i grew into a lighter and wiser creature of spirit....i welcome my need to give of real, honest, open and genuine love....and will keep showing it until i find the one truly ready to return it completly. i had been willing and able to walk a million miles to love and show myself completly, and i walked back an even stronger being.

i am learning every time i love.....and i love to learn!
i am ready to begin my next lesson....
and i am still ready to teach when needed.


(my arms sure did hurt the next day though!)