the things i learned last weekend

-i learned that "chicken dust" is making people crazy....and i believe it. now, when something happens to you that IS crazy, you can say, "man, that's chicken dust!", or quite simply, "CHICKEN DUST!". perhaps even, whilst conversing with a friend that says something chicken dust'ish, you can ask them if they have been snorting chicken dust. i like it.

-i learned that cats come in ALL sizes. i have been around many large cats, and even owned the largest i have ever seen....but to see a freakishly small cat is a bit odd. i mean, a mostly adult cat that small...really? i am tellin ya...it is a chicken dust thing to see!

-i learned that when talking about really expensive shampoo, you must interject a 'fucking' inbetween syllables. (sham-fucking-poo). it works well, and is pertinent to acheiving the proper level of emphasis on the out-fucking-rageousness of the price.

-i learned that when a under-aged, large, speech-impediment-talking, religious-poem-carrying, recently-released-from-a-detention-center, wife-hittin-on dude walks into a nice cheers-like bar....people start talking.

-i learned that people really like to open up around me....and if my company sits next to me then it happens to them instead. chicken dust..i know!

-i learned that the last time you saw her, she wanted to crush your face with a bottle, and now, after thinking about it for 19 years, she likes you, but wants to smash your florist's face with her fist. now that, my friends, is chicken-fucking-dust!

yup, it was that kind of weekend.....and i loved every second of it!